Fear
by Anybodys
Summary: One night, Leia hears Han hurrying about and decides to follow him, but regrets it.


Endor was such a strange place, different than it was at home. She sat still, her lips pursed, facing the wall opposite of her. They were back here again, not to long after the Empire had been defeated, but Luke said there was something they had to do here, and that's where they were.

Sighing, she lay down on her pillow and turned on her side. Her eyes didn't even shut the slightest; instead, she strained her ears for any sound of trouble or Luke returning. It was such a late hour to be out, but Luke insisted on still going even when she said not too.

Frustrated at her sleeplessness, she flopped back onto her back so she could stare up at the ceiling. Closing her eyes, nothing was still heard and she tried to relax, even though she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

There was a thud out in the hallway. This time she had an excuse to open her eyes and tiptoe out, where Han was cursing something he had just dropped. Looking over his shoulder, she saw shattered glass. She didn't make a noise, but just watched Han fumbling around, backing up to see if any glass made its way down the hallway, and bumped into Leia.

It wasn't really a bump, though. More like an accidental shove from his back that sent him tumbling on top of her on the floor.

In the normal circumstances, he would either be very angry or very amused; this time, though, it was hard to tell. It didn't seem to be either emotion.

"Leia," he started, a growl in his throat. His facial expression betrayed the anger with an anxious, worried look. "Go to bed. I'm heading back out. Luke just sent me for something."

"Why couldn't he come himself?" she panted, trying to escape from under Han's body.

Noticing the struggle, Han stood up but didn't even offer her help. He quickly brushed up the glass, cutting his hand occasionally, but he didn't even seem to notice. "He just sent me, alright? He's the battler, and I do what he says." He hurried down the corridor, Leia following.

"That seems strangely uncharacteristic."

"What?" He turned to her.

"_You _actually _listening _to somebody?" she said, amusement lining her voice.

"Hey, now, I was in the military once. And you know what? You should be in bed right now," he stated, ushering back towards her room. She turned on heels, staring at him.

"Han, is something wrong?"

"No, now goodnight." Giving a fake smile, he held a hand out, waving towards the room. Leia put her hands on her hips and frowned.

"What happened?"

"A princess didn't get her sleep one day and she was thrown into the Sarlacc. I know one princess who isn't sleeping, and I'm trying to prevent the same thing."

Leia stared wearily at him. "Really now? I've never heard it."

"Then you don't get around much. You can ask L—Luke later."

Cocking an eyebrow, her mind turned. He had stuttered on Luke's name. Maybe it was just that he was tired, maybe it was his mind whirling so fast that he did that, or maybe it was something entirely different.

"Well then, where are you going?" she asked.

He groaned. "Leia, stop. You're making me late." Hurrying back to the room he was in before, she finally noticed what room it was. It was the room with all the medicines inside.

"Han," she exclaimed, a hint of urgency in it. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Leia! Now go to bed!"

"You're getting medicine! What happened?"

He stared back down at her, silent for a moment. "Luke wanted me to get this just in case anything happened."

"Then way are you so rushed?"

"He cut his arm, and he needs some antiseptic."

Leia stood on tiptoes to peer onto the bottle's name. "I don't see that."

He softly pushed her out of the way as he briskly paced out the door. "Bad lighting. Now goodbye."

Watching him until he disappeared around the corner, she had no debate on whether she would follow him or not. She slipped on her shoes and a long coat and stepped out onto the damp ground of Endor, her silky nightgown sweeping around her thighs. It was chilly, and a soft noise would come from the trees every once in a while. She listened to Han's heavy footsteps ahead, and as quietly as she could, followed him, noting that he was moving very fast. This was most definitely a serious problem; not just a cut arm.

After dodging and jumping over many limbs, occasionally cracking an unnoticed few, they cleared a long space in five minutes that usually would've taken about twice that, Han uncorked the bottle and started wiping a rag over a body. Leia's heart pounded. It just couldn't be.

On her tiptoes once again, she strained her neck to glance over at the body below.

There lied Luke, his face bloody and scratched, his body mangled up with his clothes torn to pieces. His eyes looked as if they were swollen shut, and arms spread out at odd angles, and Han was lifting his legs to clean them with the bottle.

Leia couldn't keep it contained; the image burned into her mind, his face looming up at her when she was closing her eyes, facing another direction.

That's when she screamed.

She let it all out, forgetting about Han and his temper, a tear trickling down her cheek. Han spun around, alarm on his face. When he saw Leia, anger replaced it and he stomped over and clutched her shoulders fiercely. "Leia!" he bellowed, tears pouring down her face steadily now. "I told you to go to bed!"

Her throat was too tight to speak. "Stop letting your curiosity get the best of you and go back NOW!" he screamed.

She finally got the courage to look up at him, her eyes already puffy and red. "Why—why didn't you t—tell me?" she sputtered, trying to stifle her sobs.

Han looked as if he was getting ready to cry himself. "I didn't want to worry you." His voice cracked, and he turned away, going back to Luke.

"I—is he d—dead?"

Han didn't answer. Leia didn't think of this as ignoring her; she though of it more as he didn't want to say because he wasn't sure.

"It's al—alright, Han. Just an—answer m—me."

"He was attacked," Han murmured, ignoring her question. "There's a creature in here. A creature that the Ewoks had warned 3PO a while ago." Leia knew he wasn't joking. Han had actually referred to C-3PO by his real name.

Somewhere inside Leia, though, she wished it were all a joke. She wished that it was just some cruel prank, and as she sobbed, Luke would yell "Surprise!" and start laughing, and Han would turn around and be laughing too, then come to try to hug her and she would smack him, hardly, and square on the cheek and stomp off and couldn't believe they would do such a thing.

She wished that with all her might, but it didn't happen. Luke still laid there, his broken body reflected in her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What about Chewie?"

Han glanced around at her. "He's after the creature."

As if to answer her question, Chewbacca's roar rang out into the night. She and Han stared hopefully into the dark. Instead of being positive feedback though, it was almost utmost despair.

Leia's heart sped up as time seemed slow down. The seconds ticked by like hours. The bushes rustled. Han tilted his head a little towards the bushes, but the turned back towards Luke. Leia couldn't move from the spot. The bushes rustled again only this time, a huge beast pounced out of it.

"HAN!" she screamed, but she knew it was too late. By the time he saw the creature, it had swiped him up and jumped away into the forest.

She had to help him, but yet she couldn't. The world around her spun as she dragged Luke across the clearing before hoisting him up into her arms. Even though he was much bigger and heavier than she was, she determinedly moved the fastest she could towards the _Falcon_. _So close, _she told herself. _I'm almost there._

Her foot snagged under a limb that she had jumped over earlier. Falling face-first onto the ground, she tried the best she could to get Luke to land safely. Changing the angles of her elbows, when she hit the ground Luke barely bounced as he rolled a foot or two away.

Leia's breathing was heavy. How could a Jedi Knight like him be attacked so brutally? Even the best fell sometimes, she knew, but she couldn't grasp the idea that Luke Skywalker fell to something so savage that he could've easily beaten.

Suddenly she turned bitter. It was an ambush. It had to be. Maybe Han had even tried to sabotage him. He knew the beast was coming, so he just let Luke be attacked and acted innocent. That _had _to be the answer.

Down in her heart, though, she doubted that. Han could've never acted that genuine; never that concerned. That had to be real. Leia couldn't even believe she was thinking like that.

She ached. It wasn't her head though, it wasn't her foot that was still under the limb; it wasn't her legs from moving as fast as she did, and it wasn't her arms from carrying Luke. The only thing that ached Leia was her heart.

It had weighed more when she saw Luke, but now there was a burden at the thought of Han being gone.

She started sobbing again, bitter and angst radiating from her. After all that stupid fighting, all the teasing, they had loved each other. Suddenly she regretted those times, and wished she would've stopped being such a bull and admitted that she had loved Han; surely, he would've said so too if he had pressured her that much.

Of course, she told him when he was being put into carbonite; they had kissed, and Han knew, and she knew, but Leia scolded herself for some reason. She made herself believe that she had never told him she loved him.

She knew it wasn't healthy, already blaming herself for this, but her heart had already filled with a longing that would never be filled that she couldn't find the will to move her foot and get to the _Falcon_.

A ear-splitting roar came from above. Leia didn't bother to look up, and the pieces of her heart were ground into powder when she saw Han's vest, ripped and scratched all over with a chunk missing, float towards the ground, landing right on Luke's head.

That's it, she thought. _I shouldn't have come_. She tried to reason with herself. _It would've been the same either way. At least you had a warning._

_ But I can't move. _Reasoning was beyond her reach. After all the determination and effort she had put in everything, she couldn't find the strength to try to save Luke and fly out with R2 and 3PO. Much less attempt to rescue Chewie.

Or him.

She couldn't bear to think his name. A thud rumbled through the ground behind her as the creature that snatched _him _up screeched and went for Leia as the powder from her heart blew away in the wind for all the others to see the tragedy.

_Goodbye_.

A thumb was pressed against her cheeks, rubbing at them. Opening up her eyes, she saw Han smiling weakly down at her. "Oh!" she shouted, hugging Han close. Tears, joyful tears, spilled over her eyes onto Han's shoulder.

He chuckled. "What's wrong, Princess?"

"I had an awful nightmare," she whispered, her head still lying on his shoulder. Leia's eyes closed as he rocked her back and forth. Even though Han didn't acquire, she said, "I followed you against your will and saw that Luke was attacked and then you were too—oh, Han, I thought you died!"

She almost wailed this out. Tears glistened in her eyes, not ready to slip out as Han pulled her away to see her eyes. "Well the thing is I'm not," he consoled. "I'm always going to be there for you, and don't you forget that sweetheart."

Leia couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not on the "sweetheart" part, but she didn't care. She smiled sadly as the tears that threatened to fall out kept their word. Han kissed her forehead, but Leia jerked his lips to hers.

The kiss was tender, bittersweet kiss; it was the mixed emotions of now and the dream, but the thing that Leia needed to know was to make sure _this _wasn't a dream, that somehow she survived that attack and she was just fantasizing.

Han twisted her body so she was facing the direction he was in and set her in his lap and rocked her again. "If you need to see Luke," he said, "he's up. You slept in."

Leia blushed. She was never the person to do that. "I guess so."

She got up on shaky legs, taking careful steps towards the hallway.

"Let me help, Leia," Han offered, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her to where Luke was.

Luke was safe just as he said, up in the cockpit with Chewie, listening to 3PO give some lecture to R2. Leia, overcome with happiness, almost fell over with dizziness.

"You've had a rough night, I presume. Let's get you back to bed." Leia didn't argue as Han picked her up in his arms as she had done to Luke many a moon ago in a nightmare.

And inside, she hoped with all her heart that she would never wake up from this dream.


End file.
